HOW TO BE THE BEST BEST MAN ON THE WEDDING DAY
You’ve made it this far. Your friend is getting married, and it’s to someone they REALLY care about. Here’s everything you need to know to help them have the best day ever, and if you follow even MOST of this list, you will be the BEST best man you could possibly be.
If you haven’t seen it already, here’s our equally important blog post on How to Be the BEST Best Man BEFORE the Wedding, including important stuff for the night before.
Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is an honor and privilege, and it is also a big responsibility. But you can handle this. That’s why they’ve asked you. Here are some sure fire ways to make sure you own this title of Best Man and help your friend to have one of the best days of his entire life.
WHAT TO DO ON THE BIG DAY
5. You are Man #2 all day today. This is the groom’s big day. One of the biggest days of his life. Help him do whatever he needs to do. Take charge when things need doing. Remind him not to lock his knees so he doesn’t end up on a viral youtube video. Make sure the groom stays hydrated – You know that means water.. not just alcohol. On that note, try to help ensure your groom is sober enough to remember his day and to be the romantic suave fella he was meant to be.
6. Take care of the rings. The groom may not want you to hold the rings all day; it’s up to him. But once you have them, you guard them as if your life depends on it, until they are safely handed to the officiant.
Take charge on praying over the groom or just speaking encouraging words. We’ve seen everything from a group prayer, to smoking a cigar together, to taking a shot together; regardless, this is a great moment for the best man to step up and make sure the groom is encouraged and to have all the guys huddle around to wish him well and let him know how much he means to them (probably before the ceremony).
Communicate with Photographers / Videographers
This doesn’t always happen, but when we are shooting a wedding, we like to try to communicate with the best man / maid of honor first before going straight to the bride and groom. They tend to be pretty stressed out, and this gives them another moment of relief when they hear from you that the photographer let YOU know that they’re on their way and will arrive at ____. It’s also helpful for moments like a first look or if we’re trying to get a groom into the same room as a bride without the groom seeing her.
Help discreetly pay vendors – officiant, dj, photographers, caterer, musicians, etc. If the bride and groom want you to, you should offer to hand off checks discreetly to any vendors that still need paid. This is just another load to lift off of the bride and groom’s shoulders. Just make sure you don’t lose a check!
Make sure someone has the marriage license – sign/witness it afterward if needed. Traditionally, the best man / maid of honor are the witnesses who sign the marriage license with the officiant and it’s done sometime shortly after the ceremony. Sometimes the photographer/videographer capture this, but either way, make yourself available and make sure the certificate and license are safe and secure. Typically, the officiant will have the things to sign. We’ve run into a small handful of weddings where the officiant didn’t actually remember this (they didn’t officiate all the time). So I’m going to actually go time travel and add a note about this in the prep section of the blog. You took my time travel for granted when you read it up there.
Get a copy of the timeline of the day and keep the groom calm.
Hear me out on this – things WILL get behind on the wedding day. Multiple locations and drive time will be underestimated. Things may get left at a house. We tell our bridesmaids to plan for at least an hour or two extra for hair and makeup than they think they should – but most don’t. Then the timeline gets tight and behind. Help the groom stay calm, remind him he’s getting married regardless, and everything will be cool.
7. Keep Groom Calm
I’ve already said it 3 or 4 times, but now it’s an official point on the blog post. Keep him calm. Do multiple check-ins with him to remember to stop and take visual snapshots of the day, because it goes by so fast.
8. Make a Toast
You can do this. Again, we wrote a whole blog on this, but the majors of a good toast are: Don’t talk about yourself, talk about the couple (not just the groom), and remember to propose a toast (invite everyone to raise their glasses). Some other important points here: do NOT get drunk before doing this. You could have some serious regrets. Remember Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift speech. It’s customary to let the host of the wedding address the crowd first (This is usually, but not always, the bride’s parents). Outside of those pointers, it’s pretty simple. Keep it short, make it about the couple, propose a toast at the end.
9. Help Everyone Get Dressed/get accessories on.
We will soon add videos on Boutonniere, pocket squares, bowties and ties here. But help the guys get them on correctly.
*Note – often the mother of the groom gets the honor of putting the boutonniere on the groom (and photographers/videographers will want to capture this happening). Sometimes the mother will want to pretend to put it on, but someone else will do it. Sometimes the mother will want to put the boutonniere on all of the groomsmen. The point is, if the groom wants it, give him the option. And communicate with the photographers.
Keep groomsmen on task during photos
If you all know each other well, you’re going to be having a good time. Just remember the timeline and help keep everyone on task. Remember how much time and money the bride and groom have invested into this day. Keep the wolf pack to task.
10. Escort the Groom (drive him)
See if your groom needs driving to and from any of the locations of the day. Don’t leave anything behind, triple check, and don’t let anyone take each other’s keys! We’ve somehow witnessed this at at least three weddings –someone grabbed someone’s keys thinking they were left behind, and then drove off with them, and the bride and groom were stranded at the wrong location! We once had to drive the bride and groom in our cramped up car to their reception because of this.
11. Prep Getaway – retrieve car, decorate (only if wanted – don’t prank)
You should help get the getaway ready to go. Typically you’ll even pull it up to the front door when it’s about time (again.. don’t be drunk) Light pranking can be fun, but you have to know your bride and groom and how they’ll respond/appreciate it. Light pranking – don’t do ANYTHING that will risk messing up the bride’s dress, the car, add unpleasant smells to their drive off to the honeymoon, or anything of that nature. You can’t take those things back. Be tasteful here. Your main job here is to help them leave and wish them off well.
AFTER WEDDING ENDS
13. Help the family with cleanup at the venue if it’s needed.
Everyone, especially the family, is usually pretty dead tired at this point. Depending on the venue, there will be some degree of cleanup to do, whether it’s actually cleaning up or just getting all of the family’s stuff and personal decorations, etc out of there. Offer to help as much as you can, and recruit the rest of the bridal party to do the same.
12. take groom’s suit/tux to return or have dry cleaned
This is another great load to take off the groom’s shoulders. Just make sure you know what the return requirements and expectations are beforehand, and don’t mess up that suit! Don’t forget to take your own suit or tux back, too, and remind the groomsmen or gather the pieces from them to do it yourself.
help move gifts to new home unless parents are taking care of it
There could be a lot of gifts to deal with; this might be something the parents or bride and groom will like some help moving. Don’t go opening things that aren’t opened and don’t break anything, but be as helpful as they want you to be here.
14. Share the video and photos online
– social media is weird these days. The bride and groom’s photos and video that get posted will only be shown to X number of people by the high and mighty algorithms. But liking, commenting, sharing, etc will extend the reach much further. Share that photo album or video into oblivion, and encourage the rest of the group to do the same. Respect the photographer and the bride and groom, though. Don’t share it if they haven’t shared it yet, and don’t post photos and videos to your own page.. share them from the photographer’s or bride and groom’s profiles. *One other note – most photographers don’t allow other people to edit their work. Don’t do that either. But do celebrate with them, share their joy and memories, and be their biggest fan.
Hope you took some notes. You’ve got this. At the end of the day, you’re just being an amazing friend and looking out for the groom’s best interest, setting his mind at ease, and going above and beyond to make sure every detail is what they want it to be for their huge day.
If you follow even most of this advice, you will be an amazing best man. Probably the BEST best man. Maybe even better than that. You’ve got this.
Don’t forget to check out our blog on How to Be the BEST Best Man BEFORE the Wedding Day too!
Have any other ideas we missed? Let us know below. We wouldn’t want our best men to be less than best. Share this with someone who needs some pointers on the best man role!